Living an Inspired Life Blog

Welcome to Living an Inspired Life

Welcome to Living an Inspired Life....

This blog has been created to offer some suggestions, thoughts, and reflections to help you to live an inspired life. Combining the latest ideas from the field of self-development with personal experiences and practical exercises to help you to get your energy and creativity flowing and to assist you with your own journey towards self-actualisation.

So why does self-development matter?

I believe we are born into this world perfect, whole and complete. As we grow up, we are naturally subjected to the behavioural patterns and values of our key carers - parents, grandparents, teachers etc. Whilst their intentions are well-meaning, this conditioning can divert us from becoming our true selves. In our search for approval and love, and ultimately in our need for survival, we will shape who we are to fit their expectations and standards. We may deny parts of our selves that do not match their representation of who they think we should be.

Imagine that we are born as magnificent and expansive castles, with hundreds of rooms. Each room represents an aspect of our personality. If we encounter disapproval or rejection of one of those aspects, we may close the door to that room and deny that part of us exists. Before too long we have closed so many rooms off, we are living as a two-up, two-down! All of our uniqueness and greatness is locked away behind closed doors.

Self-development is the process of unlocking the doors and reconnecting with our magnificence. It can be a scary process to open the door and peek at what lies behind. We may fear the darkest aspects of our personality, but in those rooms lies our creativity, uniqueness and most inspired selves. In the quest for true authenticity and to reconnect with who we really are, we need to find those locked rooms and have the courage to open the doors.

Take a moment now to fully consider which aspects of yourself you may be denying. One approach to this is to think about people that you hold great admiration for. What is it that they do so well, that leads you to respect them in this way?  Take a piece of paper and create a list of all the qualities and behaviours that you can see in these people that you admire.

Review the list. Our representation of other people is based on the way we filter and sort information. Recognising and appreciating these qualities in another person means these aspects must also exist in you. Reading through the list, try these qualities on and see how well they fit for you. For example, if you admire "enthusiasm" in another person, say to yourself "I am enthusiastic".  Do this for the whole list and notice where you have any resistance to saying I am 'x'.

Over the next few days, begin to notice any examples of you expressing these qualities. Keep a journal and in the evening, review your day for evidence. As you begin to acknowledge these aspects of your personality, you empower yourself to be more like that and in doing so, begin to unlock your  true potential.

I'll leave you with the famous quote from Marianne Wilson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Spring Clean Your Life!

"Dear Diary
I love the springtime, the first rays of sun, the extra hour of daylight in the evening as the clocks change, and the new flowers emerging in the garden.  I have noticed that these changes in the outside world seem to reflect a new creative phase in me too. During the winter, I find I tend to hoard things.. from clutter to emails to a few extra pounds of weight (for warmth purposes obviously!!) So how can I make the most of this new found energy to create more momentum in my life?"

This is a good time to capitalise on this burst of energy. Here are 3 tips for creating space in your life :

1) Clutter Clear: 
A great time to clear out the junk and stuff that you have accumulated. I have a philosophy of love it/use it... or bin (recycle) it. For more information on this, OrganizingLA have  some great suggestions at: http://organizingla.blogs.com/organizingla_blog/2005/07/excellent_syste.html

2) Create a system for your emails:
I love technology. When I consider the opportunities we have in this decade compared to even the last one, I am blown away (ok, I confess I am a secret geek, but don't tell anyone!). But I have noticed that many of my coaching clients don't always share my enthusiasm for IT, especially when it comes to email.

Making Decisions Work for you!

"Dear Diary
Making decisions isn't usually an issue for me. I tend to be quite focused and generally know what is right for me. Recently though, I've been experiencing situations where a face a dilemma. The good news is that the dilemma comes about because there are two or more options that I want to choose...and often they are only small decisions...but it's left me wondering how I can always ensure I am making the right choice in the moment. So short of cloning myself.. what can I do?!"

There are always going to be different choices we can make, and unless we have clear criteria for making our decisions, it can be a challenge to identify what is most important to us, and therefore what we ought to do.

We make our decisions based on our values. Values are deeply held beliefs about what we believe to be "good" or "right" and what we think will ultimately bring us the results we want. Sometimes, however, we perceive that we will get different benefits from doing different things, and this sets up a dilemma (known as a towards-towards conflict in NLP).

The Quality of Your Life is a Reflection of Your Questions

"Dear Diary,
I have had the privilege of coaching and working with some wonderful people. One thing is obvious… we all have self talk that either limits us or encourages us in the moment. I have been curious recently about what makes the difference between an internal chatter box that supports us and one that makes us less resourceful. In my experience, the difference that makes the difference is the quality of the questions we ask of ourselves. It is the questions that we ask ourselves that direct the focus of our attention and therefore affect the success (or lack of it) in our lives."

In my last post, I discussed how in the moment of facing a difficult situation, changing our focus is a really easy way to recover emotional wellbeing. To go a step further, our lives are a direct reflection of what we (consistently) focus upon and the quality of the questions we ask ourselves. Our internal dialogue (or self-talk) directs and controls our attention to the various aspects of our experience and is a deciding factor in the meaning we assign to events.

Personal Development "Guru" Tony Robbins is quoted as saying "The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the questions you ask of yourself". He differentiates between low and high quality questions. Low quality questions are those questions that keep you stuck. High quality questions move you forward and help you to grow as a person.

Handling Set Backs

"Dear Diary,
This year has got off to a flying start and I am right on track with the deliberate creation of the lifestyle and wellbeing I really want. And then it happened…my most-of-the-time adorable 5 year old dropped a drink on my laptop. Firstly, anyone who knows me, also knows that my MacBook is one of my most treasured possessions but add to that a few weeks of non-backed up work and we are looking at a major trauma! My first reaction was blind panic….But in even the worst situations, there is always a learning opportunity… so apart from the obvious lesson (to back up my work more regularly!), how else can I learn to handle situations more effectively so if nothing else I can limit the emotional fall out?"

Even when we have made the decision to become the deliberate creators of our lives, there are going to be some unforeseen events, seemingly outside of our control, that knock us off balance and set us back. With hindsight, we may spot the clues or patterns of thinking that led up to the situation we face, but in immediately going into the analysis of what went wrong, we will tend to set ourselves up for guilt and regret, and this doesn’t serve us in getting back on track.

What we can do, even in the moment of experiencing a set back, is to make a conscious decision on how we are going to respond. This isn’t about taking action…instead its about making choices about the emotional journey that we want to take.

The blog is back... making a fresh start!

"Dear Diary
Every New Year's Eve, I spend the evening reviewing the last twelve months and setting goals for the year ahead. Not only does this save me from the dreaded New Year's Day hangover, but I really find it clarifies my thinking and my intentions for my life. In short, I get to work out what is really most important to me! As I reflect on 2008, I realise it was a year of consolidation, but there were a few areas where I am still not achieving what I want. So how can I make sure that this year will be truly successful?"

As I plan for an outstanding 2009, there are a number of questions that I ask myself to understand how I limit myself from reaching my potential and to help me to identify what my key priorities are and which are the areas of my life where I want to invest my energy. As the saying goes, you can do anything but not everything...so making choices about how to spend your time is vital in achieving your goals.

Here are some questions to get you thinking about what you would like to create in 2009:

• What did you achieve in 2008?
• In what areas of your life are you not yet achieving what you want?
• How do you hold yourself back? And do you get any secondary benefits from doing this?
• What have you learnt in 2008?
• Now, with these new learnings, what would you like to achieve in 2009?
• Where do you see yourself at the end of 2009?
• What are three changes that you could make, that would have the biggest impact in your life and move you closer to your vision?

Visualisation, Affirmation and Appreciation

Dear Diary. I have come to realise that being a deliberate creator in my life is about focusing on what I want and then allowing the process to unfold. Manifesting my desires in my life seems to be preceded by a feeling of alignment - an absolute knowing in my being - that something is about to happen. As soon as I have a sense of this alignment, almost instantly, what I have been waiting for appears in my life. So how do I create more alignment in my life so more good things come my way?

We all want good things to happen in our lives - whether it is something tangible like that new relationship, ideal job or dream car, or something less specific like a feeling of peace or happiness, more love and laughter, or a sense of wellbeing. Whatever we desire, we can have as long as we can bring ourselves into alignment with what we want. The only obstacle to having what we want right now, is the degree of resistance we have to achieving those desires.

Creating space for a change

Dear Diary. There always seems to be so much to do and so little time to do it in! There are so many things i want to see and do and be in this lifetime, that I find myself juggling a list of actions and often not knowing what to do next. Some of the things that I would love to introduce into my life end up at the bottom of the list in favour of the urgent day-to-day tasks. How do I change this so I have more time to do the things and create the life I really want?

Lack of time is one of the most common issues my coaching clients bring to their sessions. Despite all of the technological advances, there seems to be more "to do" than ever before. Our expectations have been raised and we live in a world that demands instantaneous results. Compare the protocol around email compared to traditional mail. Not that long ago, we would send a letter that would take a few days to be delivered and now we follow up emails if there hasn't been a response within a few hours! With the power of technology comes a blessing and a curse. We need to find a way to harness the advances of the 20th and 21st Century whilst creating space to focus on what is most important to us.

Making a difference in the world

"Dear Diary, I don't usually watch the news but last night I had it on in the background whilst I worked. Once again, I was shocked by the amount of tragedy and suffering in the world. Many of us are driven by the desire to make a difference and to make the world a better place. But when we are surrounded by so much media information on the problems of the world, its difficult to ever imagine being able to make a significant change. How can one person really make a difference?"

The news (and media in general) offers a real challenge to everyone who wants to live an inspiring life. Whilst it is important to stay abreast of current affairs, the general tendency of the media to focus on negative events can lead us to believe that the world is unsafe and unjust. If we buy into that life philosophy, it is easy to become demoralised and feel less than inspired.

Its all about Feeeeeling Good!

"Dear Diary. Over the last few days, I have really come to understand the importance of my emotions as my "inner guidance system". I am really aware that when I feel good, I am attracting more positive things into my life and when I feel bad, I can be pretty sure that I am attracting negative experiences. I have noticed significant changes to my overall emotional standpoint . I spend much more time being content and accepting of where I am whilst still being clear about what I want to create. I even feel good about some of the things that I want that have not yet arrived... I can be in joyful anticipation of what is on its way! I still experience negative emotions but my ability to recover from them is much quicker and I recognise that setbacks are only temporary. I am beginning to truly recognise that I am the creator of my own experience"

The principles of the Law of Attraction have been part of my life for some time now, and yet, I am noticing a deepening of my understanding of how our emotions provide us with our own internal guidance system to let us know when we are moving towards our goals and when we are off track. Our thoughts are our point of attraction and yet we don't need to constantly monitor our thoughts (which would be a time consuming task!), as our emotions our are feedback source to let us know what we are creating. The analogy used by Abraham Hicks is that our feelings are like our Sat Nav system, gently guiding us when we are heading in the right direction and reminding us when we are not. Those "feeling bad" emotions are the equivalent of the Sat Nav saying "turn around when possible"!

2008..Your best year yet?

Dear Diary, the beginning of a new year prompts me to reflect on what has been in the 12 months before and what I would like to create in my future. As I look back on 2007, it was definitely a year of contrast. On the positive side, I achieved many of my goals... I moved to a fabulous house, became an NLP Trainer and even achieved recognition by being named runner-up in Women in Business "Most Inspiring Female". And yet, there were still many challenges and disappointments and I know there is much more that I am capable of. This leads me to an interesting question.. "what do I need to do to ensure that 2008 IS my best year yet?"

Over the last 12 months, I have been blessed to have discovered the work of Abraham Hicks and to have deepened my understanding of the Law of Attraction. One of the metaphors they often use is the idea of our lives being like a river. Our natural state of being is to go with the flow but cultural expectations and conditioning have taught us that achieving what we want "should" be hard work and so we often find ourselves paddling upstream in a desperate attempt to create what we want. As Abraham says "nothing that you want is upstream"! If we can learn to let go of the oars and to go with the flow, the river will take us towards our goals and life becomes a journey of joyful and effortless creation.