Living an Inspired Life

The Living An Inspired Life Story

My intention is simple. I want everyone to have the opportunity to Live an Inspired Life.  That’s a life filled with passion and personal fulfilment. A life that excites you from the moment you wake up to the moment you close your eyes. A life that just feels good, so that when people see you, they can’t help but notice the joy that radiates from every inch of your being.  Imagine a world where everyone was living an inspired life. How would that be different? How would you be different?

My own journey to inspiration wasn’t always easy. After a tumultuous beginning of my twenties, my life took a dramatic change of direction following my son’s life-saving heart surgery. Since then I have dedicated myself to making my life a life that counts.  And if it is possible for me.. I know for sure that it is possible for you too! This video shares the full story:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do You Choose Love or Fear?

Dear Diary,

Well its been a weekend of contrast. I'm not a particularly a fan of the Royals, but I was touched by the sense of love and connection between William and Kate (now the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge) as they married on Friday. Around the world, people seem to be inspired and moved by the genuineness of their relationship and the world celebrated their love.

Yesterday, I woke to very different headlines as the news about the death of Osama Bin Laden broke. Without even getting into any theories and stories about what happened or when, what is significantly noticeable is the shift in the energy of the Western world towards vengeance and retribution.

There have been abysmal atrocities all around the world, but anytime we celebrate death in this way, are we not making a decision to choose fear over love? And what are the implications of such a decision?

There are two approaches to the world. One is to view the world as a fearful and threatening place. To live with caution, always keeping one eye out for potential dangers and the things that could go wrong. The other way is to live with complete trust and faith, to believe that whatever happens we can handle it and meanwhile to celebrate life and all of the opportunities it presents to connect, to share, to inspire, and to love!

The benefit of the first approach is that you seem to have some level of control over life. You can choose to avoid situations that appear threatening. You can make contingency and back-up plans that create the illusion of safety. You may, in the moment, feel prepared for the worst that could happen. Yet the downside is that you just end up living on "high alert". Vital energy is wasted contemplating different scenarios and plans. And don't you find that if the worst does occur, there are no good feelings or contentment to be had. Just an over-riding sense of despair as you think to yourself "I always knew this was going to happen".

However, when you choose a loving approach to the world, something intriguing begins to happen! Firstly, you notice that external circumstances don't have to change in order for you to feel safe. When you allow love to permeate every cell of your body, you not only radiate good feelings to everyone else, the real benefit is that YOU feel peaceful, centred and totally secure, no matter what is happening in the outside world. But the second (and more surprising) benefit is that you seem to naturally "avoid" difficult situations or confrontations. You decide to take a different journey to work and later hear about an accident on your usual route. You miss a call on your phone, and subsequently find out that it was a colleague who was angry or upset.. you only get to talk to them when they have calmed down or cleared up a misunderstanding. There are countless examples of this. When you are not a match for problems, they just don't manage to find you!

So as we hear the news from this weekend, lets take a moment to just stop and make a conscious decision to choose our approach to life. Do you choose LOVE over fear? 

For more information on Living an Inspired (and Loving) Life, visit the website 

Beyond Limitations!

Dear Diary,

Yesterday, I was watching a television documentary. On the programme was a 16-year old in a wheelchair. His nickname was "Wheels". He was born with spinabifada and had never been able to walk. So was this guy defeated or despondent about what he could or couldn't do? Absolutely not. He had more spirit and life flowing through him than I see in many teenagers. In fact, his hobby was wheelchair skateboarding! I watched in amazement as he threw himself (and his wheelchair) down ramps, through twists and turns and culminated in a back flip. Not satisfied with just doing it for himself, he had created a school to teach other youngsters his skills.

When asked whether he had any regrets about being in a wheelchair.. he responded "Of course not, you guys have to walk but I have wheels"! This got me thinking.. how do we consciously and unconsciously hold ourselves back by believing our limitations?

When was the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone and discovered what you are capable of? Most of us don't have the same physical limitations as "Wheels" yet psychologically we dis-able ourselves in a much greater way. We review our personal circumstances and believe that because we don't have enough time or money or energy etc, that certain paths through life are blocked for us.

How a simple decision can change your life.....

Dear Diary
Last Christmas, I made a decision to really enjoy the festive season! In previous years, Christmas had become a very stressful period.. with so much to do in so little time. I had started to notice that I was sitting down for Christmas dinner feeling somewhat frazzled and exhausted and with an overwhelming question in my mind of "...was that it?!" All the fun and anticipation that I experienced as a child was gone as I found myself on a treadmill of long present-buying queues, aching arms from rushed card writing and wrapping presents, not to mention the craziness of the pre-Christmas food shop! So last year I DECIDED it was going to be different, and a strange and bizarre thing happened. Not only did I have a huge amount of fun but I also got so much done.. handmade presents and cards, carol concerts, quality time with friends and family. The joy was back in Christmas. So this got me thinking.. is it possible to change the quality of any experience, even your whole life, just through a conscious and deliberate decision?

The idea is so simple, it almost seems ridiculous...can we really change our experiences just by "deciding" that our perception will be different? An interesting thought and maybe so! In earlier posts, I shared the idea that events have no meaning. It is the nature of being human and our quest for meaning, that we assign a story to our perception of what is happening around us.

For example, imagine that you are driving and someone cuts in front of your car, causing you to brake suddenly. What do you think?... Inconsiderate or dangerous driver? They are distracted or not paying attention? Some kind of malicious intent directed at you? They are in a hurry to deal with an emergency situation? Notice how all of these examples are just "stories" about the situation. The only real factual truth is that "you are driving and someone cuts in front of your car causing you to brake suddenly!"  But where it gets interesting is when we start to believe our story. Wouldn't your reaction be very different if your thought was "dealing with an emergency situation" compared to "inconsiderate driver"?

So what does all of this have to do with making a decision to enjoy Christmas? Well the same philosophy applies. We always get to make up the story. I can stand in a long queue waiting to buy a present and feel frustrated that I am wasting my time (Story 1) or I can stand in a long queue waiting to buy a present and be basking in the environment (the festive music, the bright lights, the buzz of Christmas) and anticipating the joy the gift will bring (Story 2). Same event, same environment, same situation but a very different experience. And I know which story feels better!

Since Christmas I have been using this way of being as life-strategy, with truly miraculous results! I have been making the conscious (and very deliberate) decision to choose my story carefully. I am picking the story that feels good to me in that moment. The one that empowers, uplifts and inspires me most. And when I am doing that, not only does it feed my spirit, but I actually get so much more done!

Search for the positive meaning in all events and choose that focus to be your story. In doing so, you free up energy and space to give your attention to the things that really matter most (like just having a really good time). Occassionally I find that I have slipped back into telling a less than beneficial story about a situation or event. Instantly, I feel a drop in my energy which reminds me that the meaning isn't the one I want to choose, and I change my perception as fast as possible. Now, I have come to know, without a doubt, that a simple decision to choose a different story in any situation can indeed change your life.

This is who I am...I AM!

It's been a while since I've posted anything. In a slight change to the usual format, I hope you enjoy this piece I wrote based on my recent transforming experiences. More to follow soon: 

This is who I am...I AM 
This is me
Sometimes I am inspired, loving, compassionate, optimistic, trusting, elegant, gentle and joyful
Sometimes I am sad or angry or irritated or hurt or frustrated or fearful 
But I am always, all ways me
This is who I am... I AM

I love the parts I describe as the best of me
I love the parts I judge as the worst of me
In fact I realise that I need to love myself even more when I need it most
Staying outside of my own judgements and condemnations I have about myself
For not being perfect or acceptable
Or some other mistaken view I hold
When I briefly forget the truth that this is all of me
This is who I am... I AM 

And as I come to embrace every aspect of me
I give permission for others to love the whole of me too
And I can reciprocate by loving all of them too 
Even when their anger or hurt or fear is directed towards me 
Seemingly unfairly or unjustified 
I will remember
The universe is perfect just as it is
Every person is whole and complete just as they are
I am whole and complete and perfect just as I am
Because this is me
This is who I am...I AM 

I continue to evolve and expand and change
Every day and in every way 
Sometimes I delight and astound myself 
Sometimes I am left bemused and bewildered by choices I make in the moment
When I am not in full alignment with all that I am
And even then, I shall look inside, take a breath 
And remember
I am whole and complete and perfect just as I am
Because this is me
This is who I am...I AM

Spring Clean Your Life!

"Dear Diary
I love the springtime, the first rays of sun, the extra hour of daylight in the evening as the clocks change, and the new flowers emerging in the garden.  I have noticed that these changes in the outside world seem to reflect a new creative phase in me too. During the winter, I find I tend to hoard things.. from clutter to emails to a few extra pounds of weight (for warmth purposes obviously!!) So how can I make the most of this new found energy to create more momentum in my life?"

This is a good time to capitalise on this burst of energy. Here are 3 tips for creating space in your life :

1) Clutter Clear: 
A great time to clear out the junk and stuff that you have accumulated. I have a philosophy of love it/use it... or bin (recycle) it. For more information on this, OrganizingLA have  some great suggestions at: http://organizingla.blogs.com/organizingla_blog/2005/07/excellent_syste.html

2) Create a system for your emails:
I love technology. When I consider the opportunities we have in this decade compared to even the last one, I am blown away (ok, I confess I am a secret geek, but don't tell anyone!). But I have noticed that many of my coaching clients don't always share my enthusiasm for IT, especially when it comes to email.

Making Decisions Work for you!

"Dear Diary
Making decisions isn't usually an issue for me. I tend to be quite focused and generally know what is right for me. Recently though, I've been experiencing situations where a face a dilemma. The good news is that the dilemma comes about because there are two or more options that I want to choose...and often they are only small decisions...but it's left me wondering how I can always ensure I am making the right choice in the moment. So short of cloning myself.. what can I do?!"

There are always going to be different choices we can make, and unless we have clear criteria for making our decisions, it can be a challenge to identify what is most important to us, and therefore what we ought to do.

We make our decisions based on our values. Values are deeply held beliefs about what we believe to be "good" or "right" and what we think will ultimately bring us the results we want. Sometimes, however, we perceive that we will get different benefits from doing different things, and this sets up a dilemma (known as a towards-towards conflict in NLP).

The Quality of Your Life is a Reflection of Your Questions

"Dear Diary,
I have had the privilege of coaching and working with some wonderful people. One thing is obvious… we all have self talk that either limits us or encourages us in the moment. I have been curious recently about what makes the difference between an internal chatter box that supports us and one that makes us less resourceful. In my experience, the difference that makes the difference is the quality of the questions we ask of ourselves. It is the questions that we ask ourselves that direct the focus of our attention and therefore affect the success (or lack of it) in our lives."

In my last post, I discussed how in the moment of facing a difficult situation, changing our focus is a really easy way to recover emotional wellbeing. To go a step further, our lives are a direct reflection of what we (consistently) focus upon and the quality of the questions we ask ourselves. Our internal dialogue (or self-talk) directs and controls our attention to the various aspects of our experience and is a deciding factor in the meaning we assign to events.

Personal Development "Guru" Tony Robbins is quoted as saying "The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the questions you ask of yourself". He differentiates between low and high quality questions. Low quality questions are those questions that keep you stuck. High quality questions move you forward and help you to grow as a person.

Handling Set Backs

"Dear Diary,
This year has got off to a flying start and I am right on track with the deliberate creation of the lifestyle and wellbeing I really want. And then it happened…my most-of-the-time adorable 5 year old dropped a drink on my laptop. Firstly, anyone who knows me, also knows that my MacBook is one of my most treasured possessions but add to that a few weeks of non-backed up work and we are looking at a major trauma! My first reaction was blind panic….But in even the worst situations, there is always a learning opportunity… so apart from the obvious lesson (to back up my work more regularly!), how else can I learn to handle situations more effectively so if nothing else I can limit the emotional fall out?"

Even when we have made the decision to become the deliberate creators of our lives, there are going to be some unforeseen events, seemingly outside of our control, that knock us off balance and set us back. With hindsight, we may spot the clues or patterns of thinking that led up to the situation we face, but in immediately going into the analysis of what went wrong, we will tend to set ourselves up for guilt and regret, and this doesn’t serve us in getting back on track.

What we can do, even in the moment of experiencing a set back, is to make a conscious decision on how we are going to respond. This isn’t about taking action…instead its about making choices about the emotional journey that we want to take.

The blog is back... making a fresh start!

"Dear Diary
Every New Year's Eve, I spend the evening reviewing the last twelve months and setting goals for the year ahead. Not only does this save me from the dreaded New Year's Day hangover, but I really find it clarifies my thinking and my intentions for my life. In short, I get to work out what is really most important to me! As I reflect on 2008, I realise it was a year of consolidation, but there were a few areas where I am still not achieving what I want. So how can I make sure that this year will be truly successful?"

As I plan for an outstanding 2009, there are a number of questions that I ask myself to understand how I limit myself from reaching my potential and to help me to identify what my key priorities are and which are the areas of my life where I want to invest my energy. As the saying goes, you can do anything but not everything...so making choices about how to spend your time is vital in achieving your goals.

Here are some questions to get you thinking about what you would like to create in 2009:

• What did you achieve in 2008?
• In what areas of your life are you not yet achieving what you want?
• How do you hold yourself back? And do you get any secondary benefits from doing this?
• What have you learnt in 2008?
• Now, with these new learnings, what would you like to achieve in 2009?
• Where do you see yourself at the end of 2009?
• What are three changes that you could make, that would have the biggest impact in your life and move you closer to your vision?

Visualisation, Affirmation and Appreciation

Dear Diary. I have come to realise that being a deliberate creator in my life is about focusing on what I want and then allowing the process to unfold. Manifesting my desires in my life seems to be preceded by a feeling of alignment - an absolute knowing in my being - that something is about to happen. As soon as I have a sense of this alignment, almost instantly, what I have been waiting for appears in my life. So how do I create more alignment in my life so more good things come my way?

We all want good things to happen in our lives - whether it is something tangible like that new relationship, ideal job or dream car, or something less specific like a feeling of peace or happiness, more love and laughter, or a sense of wellbeing. Whatever we desire, we can have as long as we can bring ourselves into alignment with what we want. The only obstacle to having what we want right now, is the degree of resistance we have to achieving those desires.